"This Too Shall Pass"

When I first met Uncle at Veeranna Gardens more than twenty years ago, I spent a lot of time with him. I needed to… because I was courting one of his daughters and I had to impress him before I could even begin to impress her.

He told me how mischievous his daughter had been when she was younger – but that did not dissuade me.

Uncle and I spent a lot of time together, drinking endless cups of tea together as he regaled me with stories of British Army life. We discussed everything under the sun: politics, sport, religion and life in general. I recall with fondness his sense of humour and his happiness despite the adverse circumstances during those days.

What impressed me most about him was his sense of history. He seemed to know everything that had happened in the past. By all accounts, he had already lived a life that was full.

In his later years, after the stroke that he suffered, I remember Uncle for his resilience. Against all odds, he soldiered on and was there with a welcoming smile whenever we visited him.

We still have vivid memories of my sister’s wedding reception, at which Uncle and Aunty surprised us all by doing an impromptu dance. That picture will be embedded in our minds for a long time.

My father-in-law was a good man who did his best for his family. He is in a better place now and life goes on for the rest of us. Looking down at his wife and children - his pride and joy, he would want them to be strong. I think he would want them to be comforted by the words of this song:

“The Father knows the tears you cry before they fall
He feels your pain, His heart and yours are one
The Father knows that sorrow's heavy chains are strong
But with His strength, you'll overcome.

“This too shall pass
Like every night that's come before it
He'll never give you more than you can bear
This too shall pass
So in this thought be comforted
It's in His Hands
This too shall pass.”

When Will We Ever Learn?

Emmanuel Ratnajothi Rajaratnam passed away in Bangalore this morning, after an 81-year stint. My father-in-law was a good man.

In the days when I used to court his daughter with moonlight and roses, I remember him singing this song by Pete Seeger:

"Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Girls have picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

"Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone?
Taken husbands every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

"Where have all the young men gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young men gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young men gone?
Gone for soldiers every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

"Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

"Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Covered with flowers every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?"

Eulogy from Jeremy’s Family

Born: July 7th 1952
Died: June 3rd 2007

In our 29 years of married life, I learned values from Jeremy that are as unforgettable as the man himself. His family meant everything to him and he meant the world to us too. Jeremy was soft-spoken and unassuming, never hesitant to help a human being in need… even people who were unfair to him.

A man of many talents, Jeremy sang particularly well. Blessed with a keen photographer’s eye, he derived delight from the wondrous colours of nature’s palette. His adept hands fixed his children’s toys as confidently as high-tech gadgetry like television sets and computers. Even as he treasured his ‘family time’, he found relaxation in fishing and reading.

Jeremy spread sunshine wherever he went. Being the jovial and joyous person that he was, people loved being in his company, especially when he was in one of his entertaining moods. His magnetic appeal used to attract little children to him and he reciprocated by buying gifts for all who came his way.

In today’s world, some of Jeremy’s beliefs would appear quaint, like: a family should have just enough for its needs because, if there was an abundance of riches, the family could go astray.

Dadda, you were always there for us, ever so patient, our friend as much as our parent. It’s strange to realise that we will not have your reassuring presence by our side when we walk up the aisle.

We know that you are now with Jesus, watching over us. We will treasure memories of the wonderful times we shared… But, despite those memories, Dadda, we miss you…

- Patricia Fernando and the Children

Long-term Investment

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease…

All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer,
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find
I once was going to write it down…
But never found the time."

(Courtesy: Ravi Bhatia)

Grandma

Francesca Victoria

Born: April 5th 1920
Died: June 25th 2007

“She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue…
And her children rise up and call her happy."
- Proverbs 31

Grandma was always gentle, kind, patient, caring, graceful, hospitable, generous, happy, loving, and dignified! Her life is a shining example of how life ought to be lived. By her actions, she taught us to treat people with kindness and forgiveness. She always kept confidences and only focused on the good in people. She was genuinely interested in the poor and the troubled, and gave unconditionally of her resources and time.

Grandma always seemed to have time for us, her grandchildren, too - to ask how we were faring and then listen patiently to our litany of childish problems. Her concern somehow made our worries just melt away. She was an integral part of our lives – as we graduated from report cards to wedding cards.

We fondly recall her presence: those beautiful eyes, those soft hands, that sweet smell of powder and eau de cologne and, the rustle of her saree as she bustled about the household. We would drink our morning cup of ‘Grandma’s tea’ from wobbly silver tumblers. With the sunlight streaming through the window, we have marveled together at the birds splashing in the bird-bath and twittering on the temple tree.

Grandma organised some memorable midnight feasts for us, at which we ate ice-creams and chocolates, and she enthralled us with stories filled with magic and mystique. Princes, princesses, fairies and a flying white horse featured prominently in them. In one particular story, the prince and princess got married in the end and Grandma attended their grand wedding. As a parting gift, she said, they gave her the blue enamel bangle that she used to wear!

She taught us action songs like ‘On The Good Ship Lollipop', ‘Animal Crackers’ and ‘My Ship Sails From China’ - and every song from ‘The Sound of Music’.

Our family values and sense of morality were learnt from her. Like when she used to switch off the television whenever inappropriate content came on. And how she gently reprimanded us when a skirt stopped short of our knobbly knees... When we slept over, she would put chairs beside our bed to ensure we didn’t roll off… even after we became teenagers!

Grandma was like a shepherd, and we were her flock... She brought up ten amazing children. Then, she did the same to us – and, finally, to her thirteen great-grandchildren. It brings us solace to know that she is now in the hands of the Good Shepherd from whom she drew so much strength.

Late at night, Grandma would say “Good night, God bless you” to each one of us and would retire to bed only after saying a prayer before the altar in the hall. She had unwavering faith in God. What sustained her during difficult times was prayer. "Lord Jesus,” she would pray, “hold my hand and walk through this world with me."

Once - at the end of our holidays - I was crying at the prospect of leaving. Grandma hugged me and said, “Whenever you feel sad, look at the moon and think of me - I will be looking at the same moon and thinking of you too.”

Thank you, darling Grandma, for all that you were to us and for all that you taught us about living! Until we meet again, we’ll look at the moon; okay, Grandma? Does it look the same from Heaven?

- By her 23 grandchildren

Francesca Victoria (1920 - 2007)

“Grandma described World War II as an unforgettable experience filled with elements of fear and gratitude. The first incident that affected her happened a week after the birth of her first child on December 9th 1940. On the day of the baptism, instructions were received to drape windows, keep house lights off and remain in darkness. This was to prevent houses being visible to enemy planes. Accordingly, the Christening party was celebrated by candlelight.

“For over a year, Japanese attacks were dormant and then - on Easter Sunday - April 5th 1942, they resumed with greater intensity… Grandma had gone for Mass, leaving her 16-month-old baby at home with the nanny. Half an hour after Mass started, sirens went off, warning people to get into air-raid shelters. There was pandemonium at the church. Grandma could think only of her baby and, desperate to get home, she went home via the deserted side-streets when the police weren’t looking. On the way home, Grandma met her British neighbour, Mr James. He told her that he had instructed the nanny to take the baby and get under the wooden table if there was any bombing.

“Grandpa, who was away on business, called and said that he was safe and would return home soon. Not long after he returned, they received the news that Colombo harbour had been bombed. Grandma’s father-in-law wanted them to leave for India. They packed hurriedly and prepared to leave the country. No passports or visas were necessary; only a ticket needed to be purchased over the counter. They left that very night and were safe until the end of the War, when they returned home.”
- Michele Hepponstall

"Nooo!"

"Uncle Sonnaboy expired this morning" - Marina, March 20th 2007

Doyne Felix ‘Sonnaboy’ Kern is Marina’s Godfather and maternal uncle. He will be remembered for his elfin appearance; his sharp intake of breath at each mildly surprising comment; the disconcerting habit of saying, “Nooo!” at every not-so-mildly surprising statement; and his fondness of potent beverages.

Cheers, Uncle! Save a barstool for me, next to yours, in that great Big Watering Hole in the Sky… And give my regards to the Bossman.

Death of Bob Woolmer (1948 - 2007)

"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same...

"Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools...

"If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss...

"Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!"

- Rudyard Kipling